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Designer: Joan Tong
Image: SilverPoot
Layout: Blogskins
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have you ever regreted something in your life? regreted that you should not have done that? regreted that you did not seize that opportunity in front of you? regreted that you could have done more, done better?

i have regrets.. regrets in my life.. regrets for 2008..

i regreted ever coming to a jc..
i regreted joining 2 ccas..
i regreted ever trying to take on alot of stuff..
i regreted ever trying to accomplish feats that i have never tried..
i regreted keeping a secret of who i hate..
i regreted keeping a combi with i don like..
i regreted trying hard on something which i have no talent at..
i regreted not sticking to my basis..
i regreted avoiding the topic of my thoughts..
i regreted giving in to the slightest fear of failure..
i regreted trying my best for something that will never come true..
i regreted lying about lying..
i regreted not giving my best at my studies..
i regreted spending time on stupid things..
i regreted not waiting..
i regreted that i pursued everlasting..
i regreted i gave up something for nothing..
i regreted saying things that hurt..
i regreted my behaviour..
i regreted making wrong choices in life..
i regreted in trying to become an E person..
i regreted trying to just say it..
i regreted ever meeting people..
i regreted i was ever born..
i regreted changed my character on the surface..
i regreted for not taking things seriously..
i regreted for living my life like a dream..
i regreted for ever posting my last post..
i regreted..

regrets.. everyone has them.. its just the difference in amount.. in numbers.. and how much you regreted.. this post is partially dedicated to someone important in my life.. someone which has made a difference for just being there..[actually everyone did so] but this person attempted to make a difference.. which not many does.. nor is it significant to me.. at least..

the person once said to me"no one tags doesn't mean no one reads your blog. don't know how to cheer you up/change your perspective but remember you've friends like us. true friends. we wont disappear after graduation(if i get to graduate) & go separate ways. we will meet up, i promise. goodbyes are inevitable, but comes will still come. dont be afraid of opening up & getting hurt, cause at least you tried, and it happened. everything happens for a reason, including geeting to know people you know now, out of so many in the world. have faith in yourslef, cause others will never lose faith in you. good things fall apart so that better things can fall together." i was surprised at this.. surprised as the randomness of it.. surprised at the length of it.. abit too long winded ar.. i thought i will die before finish reading it.. k sorry for posting up ur words.. just felt tat i have to mention you.. someone who is special to me.. among all my friends, only 2 have become considered my best friends.. which i don hide anything.. one is lost forever.. i doubt he even recognises me now.. the other is you.. i mention it to you before.. if you still remembers.. thanks for all these kind words.. though i doubt i can heed them.. afterall i am pretty stubborn.. too stubborn for my own good.. but thats me.. its something that makes me, me.. thanks for your concern.. thanks for your time.. thanks for the randomness.. thanks for the thoughts.. many thanks which i shall not say, since it will take up too much space..

because of these words.. i regreted.. regreted for ever posting up that stupid post.. for making you worry.. i am sorry..

this are my regrets for year 2008.. those that i wish for it to have never happened.. to never exist.. and with this, happy new year to everyone of you out there.. enjoy 2009 since its here and 2008 has left forever..

time is something that never waits..
regrets are something that always exist..
chances are something that never waits..
choices are something that always exists..

forever waiting..
waiting forever..
for something..
for..









i wonder how long have i since regain this feeling.. feeling of loneliness and unwantedness.. it just refuses to disappear no matter how i try..
insane gaming..
multiply outings..
coping in the room..
exercising..
and many others..

it just refuses to disappear.. i am alone.. one person.. no matter how they say.. "we will always be friends".. "if anything, call me".. "lets go countdown for Christmas".. i know deep within my heart that i wan to be friends.. i wan to call.. i wan to go.. but.. i never did.. i rejected.. i.. it was always the same ending no matter the route i take..
long bus ride around singapore.. eventually reaching home..
long mrt route.. eventually reaching home..
long walk.. eventually reaching home..

the destination is always the same, no matter how many other places u reach.. no matter how many memories are forged.. no matter how many bonds are forged.. no matter how many tears and blood that we sweat together.. no matter how we reach a mutual understanding.. no matter how we argued and eventually became better friends.. no matter how.. the ending is still the same.. parting of ways.. eventually forgotten.. memories are forgotten.. bonds are broken.. friends are lost.. its has always been so.. i have seen it many times.. eventually it will be so with my current friends.. that day will arrive sooner or later.. the feeling of loneliness creeps up to me each time i thought about it.. no matter how hard i shake it off.. it is always there to remind me not to overstep the boundary and become too close.. u may not know it.. i always try to keep u all from becoming too close to me.. a self erected barrier.. an impenetrable barrier..

alone is much easier.. no pain of separation.. no feelings of anxiety for others.. no nothing.. i wan to be alone.. alone.. afterall i cant interact well.. interaction is a pain.. something i should avoid at all costs.. but why am i doing the opposite.. when i know the obvious outcome.. regrets..

wishing everyone a happy Christmas eve and Christmas.. one which i will spend alone.. the cold weather exactly depicts my feelings..

a sense of loneliness..
a sense of sadness..
a sense of sorrow..
how to stop it..

repeating the same mistakes..
even though its obvious..
why..
i cant help it..









saw this on silvesta blog so might as well do one since i have so much free time.. haha how untrue is some.. especially the seriousness of your love.. is damn insulting to my personality.. some are true though.. and some are "omg really?! i didnt know i was like that.." lol somehow ifeel that this test is made for a girl? since like all the other quiz on the site is like for girls.. weird..

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.